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The Best Porn » Top Porn Sites » Absolute Handjobs » Spencer's Review

Absolute Handjobs

Pay Site

This site features hot babes who know how to give excellent handjobs. You'll love watching these girls lube up men's cocks with their spit, then stroke them until they explode.

Primary Niche: Hand Jobs
Secondary Niches: Blowjob

past review An archived review which has since been replaced by a newer review.

pretty good

Pic Count:
Pic Quality:
Vid Count:
Vid Quality:

Grades have no direct impact on the overall score.

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Review Log

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Absolute Handjobs Review by Spencer Absolute Handjobs

Review by Spencer

Released Feb 24, '11 , Written Feb 16, '11

Absolute Handjobs is up for review today, and hopefully you can tell what kind of content they offer. A solid majority of their scenes are handjob scenes, though they do get into other random hardcore action as well for some reason. They have a pretty large collection of videos, and a smaller collection of photos. $35 a month gets you in the door, which is definitely more than I was hoping to see here.

The Pros

  Decent-sized collection.

Size is definitely a good thing here, and they do their best to provide a decent amount of content. With over 275 video scenes, it should keep you busy for a little while at least. The 75 photo gallery count is a little weak, but I think videos are their main focus anyway.

  Updates come often.

This past week has brought nearly two new video scenes per day, which is a great schedule. I'd expect their content counts to rise pretty nicely if they keep that up. Photos are only updated once per week, but they are consistent with them at least.

Other Good Stuff:

  • They provide two WMV streaming options, plus a flash option, which is more than most sites do for streaming choices.

The Cons

  I don't think the content is exclusive.

They call it exclusive, but I really don't think that's the case at all. The scenes vary a ton from one to the next, and I swear some clips have a small snippet of the previous scene in the very first second you watch them, making me think they come from DVD content. It definitely felt like more generic content.

  Several non-handjob scenes.

Since this is a handjob site, I expect all scenes to be pretty much 100% handjob related. Sure, some girls can't contain themselves and need to lick your cock for a second or two, but it should be minimal. Several scenes here barely contain anything relating to a handjob. Some are BJ scenes, some are the usual blowjob to hardcore scene, with maybe a 30 second handjob to finish him off (at least it was POV style I guess?). They just don't seem to care about the niche a ton.

  Quality isn't great.

Everything here looks slightly below average for what we usually see these days. Videos are a little small, and too compressed. They should maximize the quality they can get out of the content to really start competing. Photos are a decent size, but the quality varies a lot.

Minor Negatives:

  • It costs a lot to join this site at $35 a month. That's just too much to spend, even on some of the best sites out there, in my opinion.

Bottom Line

They have a lot to see, but the content is little more generic than I was hoping for.

Absolute Handjobs does provide a lot of content and updates, which is a good place to start for a site. However, the content was more generic than I was expecting, especially for the high price. It doesn't seem to be exclusive, and some of the time, it's not even really in the handjob niche if you ask me. It can be a decent join because of the numbers, but for the handjob purist, I think you might be better served with a more niche-specific site out there that shoots their own material. This one provides decent specs on paper, but the content isn't as good as I'd hope for.

Site Details

About the Content: 
Downloadable sets featuring girls giving handjobs, though some blowjobs and hardcore action are mixed in at times as well.

Download Managers: 
Yes, should work.
Channel Max: 16
Able to pause/resume.
Test Software: IDM

Download Speed: 
Download Mgr: 6.2MB/sec.
Browser: 1.8MB/sec.
(209MB video, 50Mbps cable internet)

Exclusive Info: 
Advertised: No info found.
My Opinion: Unsure. I don't recall seeing this content anywhere else, but it varies quite a bit overall.

File Sizes (HQ): 
JPG = ~200KB
ZIP = ~15MB
WMV = ~200MB
MP4 = ~100MB
(average size, HQ)

HD Video: 
No HD quality videos.

Live Cams: 
No free live cam shows.

Logging In: 
User, pw, verification image.
Saved after closing browser.
Videos don't require pw.
Very easy!

Model Appearance: 
Mix of models.
Generally amateur to pro.
Body types from thin to average.

Model Info: 
200+ models total.
Ages 18-35.

Other Content: 
No notable extras.

Other Details: 
Background music in some videos.
A few banner ads.

Pic Details: 
Amateur to semi-pro photography.
Little to no airbrushing.

Pic Dimensions (HQ): 
Most = 1000 x 1067

Streaming Player: 
Large flash and WMV player.
Can jump ahead immediately.
2-5 second buffer.
Smooth playback.
Good quality.
Two quality levels for WMV.

Updates in Last 7 Days: 
1 image gallery.
13 full video scenes.
(on par with previous updates)

Re-Review Status
Review Completed

New review has been completed on Mar 12, 2013 and will be released in less than a week.
We have an active member pass required to do a new review.

Back to: Current Absolute Handjobs Review

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